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You've got to be ready for anything He wants to lay on
you. You have to be open to pain, yes, but also open to pleasure.
Surrender to sadness but also to joy. Accept loss, but also abundance.
Face your fears, but also your hopes. You cannot hold pieces of
yourself back, because He knows when you do that. And while He won't
punish you for it (usually), He might try to coax it out of you, and
that's rarely a gentle process with Him. By "coax" He usually means
"tear you open and dig around until you can't stand it anymore."
Dionysos can be terrifying, but a maenad sees that face, knows its
power, and wants more. A maenad is often terrifying herself. Like
Dionysos, she doesn't do things by halves. She jumps into a challenge,
or an opportunity, or a danger headfirst, not because she is naive or
masochistic or foolish, but because she knows that the greatest things
in life can only be had by risking everything. Dionysos taught her
that. When Dionysos taught the first man how to make wine, that man was
killed by his friends who thought they'd been poisoned (yes, Dionysos'
gifts can sometimes seem like curses, especially if you resist what He
gives you). But then wine-making spread throughout the world, and
people everywhere were given the means to a brief reprieve from
suffering.
A maenad loves hard, but is not bound by what or
who she loves - for she must always be unfettered, she must always have
the choice to walk away, to run into the mountains, to change her mind.
That doesn't mean she can't have a home and a solid life - even a
domestic one - but that she must choose these things consciously and
deliberately, and be able to make other choices if necessary, or if
circumstances or her heart's desire change. Her only promises should be
to Dionysos, and He would rather her be who she truly is than be tied
down to anything, even Him, if it's no longer her path. No, you don't
have to be a maenad for life. But regardless of whether it's for a
lifetime, or a few years, or a season, or one incredible night, you
have to fully commit to it when you're in it.
It's not easy
- to be vulnerable and open, to be passionate and courageous, to be
filled with Dionysos or emptied of yourself, to be free, and to love a
god. These are not things that happen overnight (except, perhaps, for
the last one, for falling in love with Dionysos can happen in an
instant - and then over and over again endlessly). Being a maenad is
knowing that you will always be peeling off layers of your own
detritus, caught up in a dance of resistance and surrender with Him for
all of your days. Being a maenad is enjoying that dance, even the nasty
prickly parts, the "feel like you're dying" parts, and of course the
rapturous pleasure parts.
A maenad is a vessel that can be
filled with whatever He wishes - with emotion, with ecstasy, with wine,
with Himself. He tempers that vessel through alternating fierceness and
tenderness, like fire and water, and because of this the vessel is
much, much stronger. Perhaps rough-edged at times, but there is always
a cost for such things. Passion is worth it. A life of electric beauty
is worth it. Facing terror and coming out the other side is worth it.
Knowing, loving, experiencing Dionysos is worth it. And that moment, in
the middle of the dance, or the frenzy, or the revel, when you realize
that it is just you and Him in the still center of the storm, together
- that is worth everything.
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