Long before I ever practiced Somafera, I called myself a maenad. I was a female worshipper of Dionysos, and I liked the descriptions of the bands of followers he attracted. But I didn't really understand the first thing about being a maenad.

My first real experience happened during a ritual I did with some friends - just an ordinary harvest-type ritual, except that something happened to a few of us: we stumbled onto ekstasis. It was different than mere drunkenness - the world was suddenly strange and magical, the woods were alive, and I could sense the spirits dwelling within. I felt wild and unbound, and knew it had something to do with Dionysos - I found myself eating leaves and crawling around in the dirt, like an animal. Later, when I "came down" I knew this was a turning point. From then on, I became fascinated with ecstatic states, and began researching and experimenting with different methods. I began to understand why Dionysos is called Lusios (the Liberator), how he loosens all of the bonds that restrict us, how through ecstatic communion with him we are freed. I even started researching the dances of the maenads portrayed on Greek vases, hoping to find a clue to the rituals they used. But I still didn't really understand what it all meant.

Then a couple of years ago, I realized what was missing - the physical aspect. I mean, I had had a few Dionysian experiences in rituals that were physical in nature - like trance dancing, for instance. But they were the exception, not the rule. As many of us do, I had been focusing on the emotional and mental aspects of spiritual contact, and had been essentially ignoring the physical - in part, because I never felt very comfortable in my own body. Then it all changed. I remember one night in particular, I was in a slightly altered state of consciousness, and I was dancing to some music in my apartment, as I liked to do, and in one move I bent all the way backwards until my head was almost touching the floor - and I stayed like that, for the rest of the song, even though I was not nearly strong or flexible enough for that kind of stretch. But I had Dionysos with me, and I felt I could do anything. From there, it was like a domino effect. I began pushing myself further, always by connecting with Dionysos first - his strength, his power, his Freedom gave me abilities I simply didn't have on my own. I started to be able to resist pain more than I could before, even to touch flame to my skin and not feel it. And then it occurred to me - these feats were exactly what the mythical maenads were said to have done, when in the thrall of Dionysos! And that is how I began the practice of what we now call Somafera.

Dionysos is the perfect god to work with on this path. He is Agrios, the Wild One, he is Mainomenos, Frenzied, he is Nyktipolos, the night prowler, he is Omadios, feeding on raw flesh, he is Polygethes, bringer of many joys, he is Teletarches, lord of initiations, and he is Zagreus, the Hunter. And the maenads are called the pack with which the god hunts. I see myself as part of that pack. Intoxicated with wine (the god's blood), wrapped in animal skins, dancing and running and howling, the maenads are transformed in their communion with Dionysos - they are something between animals, humans, and gods, they are fierce and frightening and beautiful. They can plunge their torches into the sea and pull them out again, still flaming. They can chew poisonous herbs and not be harmed. They can dance with venomous snakes in their hair, and feast on the raw meat of an animal they have torn apart with their hands. And all of these things, I think, are truly possible, through the power of Dionysos. He can transform you into an entirely new kind of creature - and that is what he is doing for me.